Adoption Issues

Adoption issues are often discussed from the point of view of the people who have adopted or who intend to adopt. Adoptees and natural family members have a struggle being heard.

Even though the adoption businesses claim that adoption is for the child, the “child” -or even adult adopted person - is often silenced when she dares to speak up about the adoption issues that are important to her.. Not wanting to incur the wrath of her possessive adopter, an adopted person may be intimidated to speak of her natural family. She may simply mention a desire for a health history and let it go at that. Many adopted people have spent their lives making their adopters happy and it is a tough habit to break, tough to attain independence.

Natural family members have an even harder time making their voices heard. Yet the adoption issues they bring up are equally valid ones. After having cared for relatives children, for friends, for the neighbors, for the elderly, for dying parents, and everyone else they encounter it may one day occur to them that when they themselves needed help, there was no one there for them. Considered “mere women” and unworthy of notice, their babies - a valuable commodity - were simply taken from them and adopted-out. In some cases, psychological tricks were used to make the mother think it was her “choice”. Shown no mercy - and sometimes battered by their parents - single mothers in certain communities and cultures have been “guided” toward adoption for decades.

Today, a savvy pregnant woman can find some information on the internet to back up her case for keeping her child. Yet, many women still find this information - and real help - too late. Having heard all their lives “everyone benefits” from adoption, they may believe it’s true. It’s easy to take advantage of someone who is suffering from morning sickness and other effects of pregnancy. The adoption agencies and adoption attorneys lure pregnant mothers in, making promises. Getting a mother to select prospective adopters well in advance is a common trick. It will make it harder for the mom to say “no” to these seemingly kind people later even after she holds her beautiful son or daughter in her arms. When she hesitates about her adoption “choice” they may remind her that they have a whole nursery all set up - and she hasn’t prepared even have a single baby outfit or a car seat to get her child home. Making promises of “open adoption” has proved to be so successful at luring moms in that adoption businesses are expanding and charging more for their “services”.

One very important adoption issue is the issue of the dehumanizing language used for mothers, fathers and other natural family members. The right to the care, custody and control of your own child is an “inalienable” right, a right that should be impossible to surrender. To make people forget this fact, mothers are dehumanized as “birthmothers” (aka “birth objects”) and adopters are called “parents” or “real parents” - even before a baby is found for them.

To make the job of finding babies for adoption easier, adoption professionals have lobbied and gotten federal government grants for Infant Adoption Awareness Training. Some states have “Choose Life” license plates, with the proceeds going to get more babies for adoption but never to help a mother or father who wants temporary help to raise their own child.

Mothers and fathers who are so easily duped deserve to be scammed - andit doesn’t matter how the children are affected. At least, that is the opinion of many people in America. While it is considered unethical - even criminal - to offer a family $15 for a baby in Cambodia, mothers in United States are being offered scholarships, car payments, dining expenses, and much, much more to lure them in. Ads soliciting for babies are everywhere. “Dear Birthmother” letters and adoption business cards are called “outreach” as if finding babies for adoption were some kindly missionary work, rather than solicitation for someone’s son or daughter.

These adoption issues are important ones. And there are many other issues related to these adoption issues: sperm and egg donation, embryo adoption bring up even more issues. Naïve college students are solicited for “donations” and are not told the truth about the fact that they are selling or donating their own offspring. They are lured in by the businesses that profit from these unnatural “reproductive” techniques. Sadly, the donated/adopted person may have even less support and understanding than an ordinary adoptee. And, what can a person who was sold by her father or mother - possibly to obtain beer money - have to feel grateful about?

There are many adoption forums, and you might think adoption issues might be discussed there. But too much honesty will get a person banned from the forum. A seemingly “open forum” is often only a highly censored advertising tool.

More open adoption issues and "unwed" mother myths.