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Apr 29, 2005
Adoption - A "Rich" Tradition
Adoption - A "Rich" Tradition
Adoption has become rich with tradition. Mother's Day is approaching and the day before it has been designated "Birthmothers Day".
"Birthmothers Day"? That seems odd - aren't all mothers honored on Mother's Day?
What is a "birthmother" anyway? What is the definition of "birthmother"?
"Birthmother" is a dehumanizing term, promoted by the adoption industry, that makes it seem as if a mother is nothing but the packaging a baby comes in, meant to be tossed aside. When she is called a "birthmother" or "birthmom" a mother's role is demoted to that of a "birth object" - similar to a placenta.
There are so many people hoping to adopt a healthy infant - and many businesses that profit in some way by getting babies for adoption. A mother who is vulnerable - single, young or temporarily without resources - is often targeted as the source of a baby to be used for adoption.
She may be led to believe she must be like Abraham, who showed his loyalty to God through his willingness to trust in the Lord and sacrifice his own son. Lucky for Abraham, God only tested his willingness and did not force him to follow through - the test was horrendous enough.
A mother may be led to believe she must be like God, who "so loved the world that He gave his only son so others might be saved." The ultimate sacrifice.
While other parents sacrifice FOR their children, a "birthmother" sacrifices her child so someone else can have the experience of raising him. That's not exactly true, you say. And you are right. Because it is not the intention of the mother to sacrifice her child. A mother who is naive is led to believe she is sacrificing FOR her child by giving him up - indeed, it is a painful thing for a mother to lose her child to adoption. But she and her family have been exposed to constant advertising, promoting adopters as "loving" people - veritable angels or saints. Many people believe that no one can love a child like people hoping to adopt, that adopters deserve someone else's child. So to make the adopting people's dreams to adopt come true, a mother is denied any acknowledgement of her motherhood. Instead, she is led to believe she should be honored as a "birth object".
After being severely chastised for being so irresponsible as to "get herself pregnant" (presumably the male is not accountable), a mother is made to feel lucky for the smallest kindness. And in return for some small kindness, she must agree to hand over her child. Later, they will say she "just didn't want" her child.
"Birthmothers Day" honors a woman's "Birth Objecthood" and dishonors her motherhood. It may become another marketing opportunity, with adopters buying women gifts of jewelry, cards and other trinkets to honor their "birth objecthood". The more rituals that build up around adoption, the more normal it will all seem.
The wealthy are purchasing the children of poor or naive families. Domestic Infant Adoption - it's become a "rich" tradition.
Posted at 05:54 pm by warriorwoman
 | | | Carrie Winebarger
August 27, 2007 06:32 PM PDT
I gave a baby up for adopition 4 years ago. We had 1 child & were living in poverty. After an agreement w/the family we chose & us & OUR lawyer was made to get us pictures of her every 6 months was broken by the adopting family, I'm looking for someone to help us get our pictures from the family. NOTHING more. Our lawyer said it's out of his hands. Anyone know of anyone who can help???
carrie_winebarger@yahoo.com | |
| | | LauraT
May 9, 2005 02:49 PM PDT
Warrior, I love your blog! It's great that the truth is coming out, after being buried in a layer of myth for so long. I despise adoption, I despise what it has done to my life and to my daughter's life, and how it has affected my entire family and her ndad and his life and family, too. This is the only life I will ever get here on Earth, and the tragedy is, I can never go back and relive it as it ought to have been lived, with my ONLY daughter by my side. I am NOBODY'S "birthmother"; I am the loving, caring ONLY mother to all three of my children, both the ones I raised and the one coerced away from me in infancy. I am lucky in that I am reunited with my girl, and I love her and she loves me. That's a fact. But, it's a hard road to travel, and one I wish I had never had to go down.
Keep on writing and telling the truth! | |
| | | Chris
May 8, 2005 09:26 AM PDT
Firstly, Warriorwoman, let me applaud and Thank You for speaking the truth about the 'aberration' called adoption.. Your articles are well thought-out and written as such..
And for the poster 'Well Heck'... what rock or cave did you just crawl out from under or walk out from?? Let me guess... you are an adoptor!! Who else would write so lamely or so misinformed.. I have to live with the horrible thought that my poor baby could have been adopted by a person such as yourself. To be brought up in an environment of hate and discompassion.. Before you speak you would do well to read informative documented researched material on the whys, whats and hows adoption has flourished as Big Business. I am a Mother, Plain and Simple!! I hope on this day, Mother's Day, you are telling your 'faux' child Thank You for being allowed to have him/her in your life..And some sincere 'I love yous' would go a long way also.
Happy Mother's Day to All the Forgotten Mothers | |
| | | Name
May 5, 2005 09:22 AM PDT
I think it's FANTASTIC that you wrote. Moms who are considering adoption and being lured in by all the lies by the people trying to get babies to sell to their real customers need to know the truth. They are their child's own mother - and once someone slaps the "birth object" label on them they will be despised by all society. | |
| | | Well heck,
May 1, 2005 07:01 PM PDT
Well heck, I agreed with you the first time. :-)
No, I don't like the term 'birthmother' either. Any woman who can ABANDON a child (and you'd be surprised how often exactly that happens in this world), doesn't deserve any 'maternal' labels. I'd say 'incubator' maybe. Or 'gestator'. Maybe "person who carried the child'. Not sure about that one though. I hesitate to even grant 'person' to someone who would abandon a child. Oh believe me, a lot of people QUITE agree with you that "birth-'mother' " is a very bad choice of words. | |
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