Adoption Issues and Family Matters
how infant adoption tears real families apart

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Adoption Blog

Adoption is complex both psychologically and sociologically. Adoption is practiced in some cultures and not in others - what motivates some cultures to transfer babies from one family to another?

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How do those in power utilize "Positive Adoption Language" to create a "culture of adoption" in order to influence families to surrender their own children and grandchildren? How did so many people become infertile and how are those in the business of adoption and reproductive technologies exploiting their infertility? Are mothers being used as if they were only a source of babies for adoption, a kind of human breeding-machine? How do family members fare, after being separated for adoption? How do families with open adoptions fare? This adoption blog will address these questions and more.


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Favorite Websites:

Adoption vs. Abortion Myths

Adoption vs. Parenting

Adoption Quotes

Adoption Psychology

Adoption Health Risks, consequences

Open Adoption Effects on Natural Family

Open Adoption Risks

Is Open Adoption or Closed Adoption Right for Me?

Adoption Australia

Dear Birthmother - Is Adoption Worth the Grief?

Parenting Resources or Adoption

Keeping My Baby

Mothers Exploited By Adoption

Adoption Origins, Inc. NSW Australia

Adoption Origins South Australia

Adoption Origins Canada

Adoption OriginsUSA

Adoption AdoptionCrossroads.org

Adoption Iowa Adoption Support Groups

Adoption Adoption Truth

Adoption Adopting Back Our Children

Crisis Pregnancy

Unplanned Pregnancy

Adoption Statistics

Birthmothers Day

Dear Birthmother

Dear Birthmother

Open Adoption

Open Adoption

Maternity Homes

Unwed Mothers

Thought Reform

Respectful Adoption Language

Unwed Daughter Pregnant

Adoption Reform

Dear Birthmother

Respectful Adoption Language

Adoption Stories

Birthmother Stories

Unwed Mothers

Dear BirthMother

Domestic Adoption Baby Boom

Adoption -Opposed to "Right to Adopt"

Adoption Language Devalues Natural Family

Adoption Agencies or Baby Broker?

  • Dear Birthmother


  • Angels in Adoption

    Adoption Artwork Fantastic Paintings and Sculpture - Vicki Ayres


    Adoption Artwork Fantastic Paintings - Lina Eve


    Adoptees Stephen Fitzpatrick - Classical Musician, Harpist



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    May 6, 2005
    "Birthmothers" and Ritual Sacrifice

    Ritual Sacrifice of "Birthmothers" and Ritual Sacrifice of Virgins

    In the historical fiction book "The Sacrifice" by Diane Matcheck, a 15-year-old Apsaalooka (Crow) Indian girl wanders into a "trap" set by another tribe. The story is set in the 18th century. According to the notes at the end of the book, "At the time of the story, the Skidi, or "Wolf" band of Pawnee had been performing the Morning Star sacrifice for so many years that no one knows when it began, and the details of why it was performed are no longer clear."

    Her father's death has left her an orphan and the girl is an outcast among her people. She leaves her tribe and travels, overcoming many challenges and then wanders into the domain of the Wolf and lives among them. Although unaware of it, she is being "counseled" and groomed for the sacrifice. In a conversation with the boy who is her "counselor" the girl makes some interesting observations. The boy, Wolfstar, tells her "Our lives are not really our own." and also "We must follow the path given to us." He believes he must follow many dictates of his culture - that he cannot travel or marry outside his culture. He says, "...if I refuse to do what is asked of me, my people will perish." The girl is stunned by this.

    When harvest-time comes, the people prepare for the sacrifice. The girl has learned the language quickly, which works in her favor. She overhears a conversation she is not supposed to hear. Wolfstar's father tells him "The girl must be at the ceremony tonight...The Morning Star must have the blood of that girl's heart, no matter what feelings you have for her." The boy she had trusted and thought of as her friend says "I have only done what you taught me: be kind to her, keep her happy and ignorant of her fate so that she may be led through the ceremony willingly when the time comes."

    Later, during the ceremony the girl - still partly under the "spell" - submits to being "prepared" and to having her hands tied by the priest. She becomes panicky, as everyone begins to chant as part of the ritual. The suddenly it dawns on her that no one has touched her body directly. Guessing they must be forbidden to touch her, she decides to try it - she gets up and simply walks away. They cannot touch her. She has no horse, no weapon to help her survive. Her hands are still bound. But, she is alive and she manages to overcome the remaining obstacles.

    This story of ritual sacrifice of a virgin closely matches a ritual sacrifice practiced in the United States and in some other countries - that is the ritual sacrifice of a family that is not of the "family-unit" type. In a patriarchal culture where people believes it is inevitable, a pregnant mother is lured into the trap. She is "counseled" and groomed for the sacrifice. She is called a "not-mother" or "birthmother" (sacrificial "offering" ) well in advance. The people she trusts believe they must go through with it or their "people", their culture, will perish. If they do not sacrifice this mother-and-child, there will be more instances of family that are not "family-units" - there may be grandparents helping to raise their grandchildren, there may be single fathers taking responsibility for their children. The mother who does not comprehend the real truth behind the biased "adoption language" - and who does not have the opportunity to overhear the true motives of the "adoption counselor" - may not extricate herself from the situation in time. The "birthmothers sacrifice" will please the gods and the people will profit from a great harvest - the harvest of a human baby for adoption.

    But what about the sacrificial offering - the so-called "birthmother" (and adopted person)?  The mental health impacts of adoption are serious.  The psychological impacts of adoption are horrifying and also fascinating.   "It" is still alive, although "it" may have become numb just to cope with the loss. Many such "sacrificial offerings" later describe themselves as "sleepwalking" for years, with no one even to talk to. Upon awakening to reality the mothers may go through a traumatized re-living of events and/or obsessive thinking about their child.

    Some "birthmothers" ("sacrificial offerings") are so thoroughly traumatized by the shameful treatment they received, by the loss of their child and by the complete lack of recognition of that loss, that they are completely unable to face it or mention it to anyone.

    But some moms do come "out of the closet" and eventually a few even regain a little sense of humor about their family dismemberment.

    ....Perhaps some day they'll put together a country or rock band called the Wrong Tummy Momsters with songs like "Bitter Momma", "Living in Hell", and "Don't Mess With My Baby". They'll start out concerts with jokes about adoption lawyers at the bottom of the ocean and social workers begging St. Peter to be let into heaven. The last song of the night will be a rousing rendition of "Don't ^%ck With Me, Infertile B*tch!" And perhaps they will publish a newsletter called the "Stolen Children, Angry Mammas News".


    (Note: If you are experiencing an unexpected "Unplanned Pregnancy",  check out the Mother's Song  website for unplanned pregnancy help and  ideas on how to keep your baby.)




    Posted at 10:38 am by warriorwoman

    Rachael Cryer
    March 8, 2006   11:40 AM PST
     
    email me at rachaelcryer@redrivermail.com
    i am sho5rt on time and need anything i can get
    Rachael Cryer
    March 8, 2006   11:38 AM PST
     
    to whom it may concern,

    my name is Rachael Cryer i am 25 and i need your help or at least pointed in the direction of some help see i have a sister who is 22 she recently had a child and is going to give it up for adoption she told me through the whole pregnancy that she was going to give the baby to me to raise however she found out that the biological father was not going to give up trying to get the child so she gave him to some one else. However, the biological father is at the moment incarcerated and will not sign his rights away he is married to a women who already has 4 other children and is on welfare. i am not on welfare i have no other children and i am also married my sister wants me to have the baby but she wants it to where the biological father will not be able to take him away from me. i know this must sound confusing because it is all confusing to me. i am not rich but we are comfortable enough to where we could raise the child with out having to be on welfare.i only have a week or so to find out if i can get the child and if the father has any rights being incarcerated.
    Rachael Cryer
    580-564-1764
    Kingston Oklahoma
    Rachael Cryer
    March 8, 2006   11:38 AM PST
     
    to whom it may concern,

    my name is Rachael Cryer i am 25 and i need your help or at least pointed in the direction of some help see i have a sister who is 22 she recently had a child and is going to give it up for adoption she told me through the whole pregnancy that she was going to give the baby to me to raise however she found out that the biological father was not going to give up trying to get the child so she gave him to some one else. However, the biological father is at the moment incarcerated and will not sign his rights away he is married to a women who already has 4 other children and is on welfare. i am not on welfare i have no other children and i am also married my sister wants me to have the baby but she wants it to where the biological father will not be able to take him away from me. i know this must sound confusing because it is all confusing to me. i am not rich but we are comfortable enough to where we could raise the child with out having to be on welfare.i only have a week or so to find out if i can get the child and if the father has any rights being incarcerated.
    Rachael Cryer
    580-564-1764
    Kingston Oklahoma
    AbbyNormal
    May 6, 2005   10:42 AM PDT
     
    Just wandered here randomly. Interesting and thought provoking site!
     

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