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Jun 3, 2005
Adoption Baby Shortage?
According to encyclopedia.adoption.com there is an "adoption baby shortage".
Just seeing these words "adoption baby shortage" turns my stomach. What is adoption - a system of finding homes for orphans or a system of getting babies for people to buy? Is "adoption" just a system of creating more orphans just so people who are infertile or gay can have a baby?
Evidently it is so.
When babies are taken from their mothers so they can be used for adoption, the babies suffer. But it is not just the babies that suffer.
This idea of creating "orphans" artificially is not new. Read "Not By Choice" to see how they got more babies for adoption in the 1960's baby scoop era.
Here's a tiny glimpse of how the babies' mothers might be affected:
"It was inhumane and unethical to subject anyone - most especially the vulnerable minor - to this such trauma. But to ensure she was silenced and abandoned her whole life was to ensure her dehumanization was permanent." - A Natural Mother
"Everytime I speak up about our loss as mothers and adoptees, someone starts talking about adopted person's right to medical information, as if that is the only loss that exists in adoption. I feel like I am being cannibalized and used for bone marrow, kidneys, ... At first, I was "only good enough" to be used to provide a baby for infertiles. Now I am "only good enough" to provide medical information. Our humanity as mothers still goes unnoticed....." - A Natural Mother
When babies are taken from their mothers so they can be used for adoption, it is not just the babies that suffer.
To consider the future or existing siblings and how they might be affected, read both of the following:
Adoption and Safe Families Act Tears Family Apart
Open Adoption The Wall
The baby-brokers all say "things have changed" in adoption, but adoption is still taking advantage of people who are naive or vulnerable. (If the adopter loses her income or gets a divorce will she then be asked to "do the right thing" and make her baby available for someone else?)
When babies are taken from their mothers so they can be used for adoption, it is not just the babies that suffer. But the babies DO suffer. What newborn baby do you know that cries for the unrelated people hoping to adopt her? A baby needs her mother and the security of her mother.
"When we are born we only want one thing to be held and loved by our own mothers. We know them, they belong to us and us to them. To take that away is not good for babies it is the worst most abusive act emotionally to inflict." -- from "What Baby Brokers Won't Tell You About Adoptees and the Truth!" by Anne Patterson, Adoptee
According to encyclopedia.adoption.com there is an "adoption baby shortage".
Just seeing these words "adoption baby shortage" turns my stomach. What is adoption - a system of finding homes for orphans or a system of getting babies for people to buy? Is "adoption" just a system of creating more orphans just so infertile and gay people can have a baby?
Posted at 07:45 am by warriorwoman
 | | | Meryl
May 3, 2008 03:04 PM PDT
Some people really DO NOT WANT their kids and are happy to give them up. Some women even happily SELL their babies. These women are not victims and should get off the victim bandwagon. They made their choices.
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| | | Responsible mother
June 5, 2007 01:30 PM PDT
I realize that everyone has opinions, but I am a woman of 37 who, along with 6 other brothers/sisters grew up without a mother. She was so self-absorbed that she missed it all. We were raised by my father, who did a great job. Now...I am a mother of a 11 year old - her father is a drug addict who has been in and out of rehabs for the last 8 years, as well as jail, and has not held down a job for more than 5 months at a time. He has not taken any responsibility for her for the last 2 years. - no visits, no calls, nothing. This is her natural father, the person that it seems some feel should have the privelege of raising my child if I should pass. That would be the most irresponsible thing I could do to my daughter. My new husband has just adopted her, because she needed to fit in somewhere - she was longing for something...LOVE...not a relationship with a blood relative...but LOVE...I have explained that her dad still loves her, but his priorities are not in order - but...from this site, it seems that you are saying ANY BIRTH PARENT is better than adoption - I disagree wholeheartedly! I think that a mother/father is a person who raises you, takes care of you, provides for you, nurtures you. There is no difference if it is a blood relation or not. I think if more people would give their children up for adoption when they don't have the ability or willingness to give their ALL to their child, then the world would be a much better place. There is nothing more important in a child's life than being loved and cared for by people who make their children a priority. I think you are doing a disservice to children by recommending that people rethink adoption. An 18 year old mother, a drug addict, whatever the situation, children deserve nothing but the best - and that is sometimes not their natural parents. If I had been raised by my natural mother, there is no telling how many children I would have had at 16 years old - or if I would even be alive. I wish people were not putting such a bad "spin" on adoption - I think it is the most loving thing you can do for a child - the problem adopted children face has more to do with this type of thinking like I have read on this site, people who believe that it is an unnatural act or that the child has missed out on something. I missed out on nothing by not having my mother, on the contrary, I gained a knowledge that people are people; they make mistakes, they have individual personalities and not everyone is cut out to parent a child successfully. Not everyone is cut out to be a doctor/lawyer, etc. why would the most important job in life be any different. Some people are just not good parents! It's too bad that more people can't see adoption as the most profound love. When I first asked my daughter what she thought of adoption, she said she felt sorry for kids who were adopted. I told her I didn't agree, that I thought they were some extremely lucky kids, that some mom/dad loved them so much that they chose them. When I got pregnant, I didn't choose my daugher, God did. But if I had not been in a situation to care for my child, then the most loving thing I could have done would have been to allow a loving mother/father to CHOOSE to love my daughter in my place. I love my daughter more than life itself, but if something ever happened to me, and she were raised by her natural father, she would end up just like him, and that would be the most irresponsible thing for me to allow to happen to my child. Children deserve much more than what nature provides. If the child's feeling were any consideration, then blood relation does not matter, the love, care, nurturing, etc. that they receive is what makes them who they are. We are having a celebration...to celebrate that my daughter has a father again, to celebrate that she feels like she fits somewhere again, rather than feeling unloved by her "natural" father....we will celebrate it each and every year, because the fact that my new husband is so generous that he is willing to raise this child who will always hold a sincere love for her "natural" father, and possibly always feel as if he can't take his place, he loves her so much that he is willing to forgoe his own feelings to provide her with what she needs...a dad. Nothing could be more special as far as I am concerned. If you would spend 10 minutes with a child who has the heartbreak that goes with being raised by a bad parent, and 10 minutes with a child who has been scooped up by some loving soul willing to give them EVERYTHING they need, you might agree. I know my daughter has spent time in both places, and after spending the last 2 years grieving the "loss" of her dad, she finally is happy again. I am confident that my daughter will grow up knowing she is loved and knowing that she meant so much to another person, that she was such a special person, that he "CHOSE" to be her dad. Adoptive parents are very special people who should be celebrated, just as the children they are loving in place of those who cannot, or will not. | |
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