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Jun 16, 2005
"Donations" of Babies to the Infertile
"Donations" of Babies to the Infertile
Adoption is a business venture that is currently popular - and growing. "Finding" healthy newborn babies for adoption customers is not as difficult as one might think. It just takes a little advertising - much of it paid for by the federal government - and voila! donations of healthy newborn "orphans" appear. Are these adorable babies really looking forward to having adoptive buyers take them home, thereby "saving" them from their own family?
According to health experts, babies are better off if kept close to their mothers - and hospitals are trying to ensure this happens. Meanwhile, adoption "professionals" do their best to separate moms and babies.
The most sought-after babies are those "produced" by healthy, intelligent (if naive) mothers who are not yet through college. Expectant parents who are single are viewed as baby-manufacturing equipment by those who wish to obtain babies. In newspaper articles adoption "professionals" and adopters alike are often quoted saying what a tragedy it is that moms are keeping their babies.
It becomes even more obvious that the babies are a mere commodity when a baby who is not perfectly healthy when born is rejected by the adoptive baby-buyers. After all, who wants to pay good money for a "junky" product?
"Compassionate" aid to the infertile is considered so important that a single woman who is pregnant is referred to by the demeaning terms "unwed" mother, "birthmother" "birthparent", "birthmom" in hopes of getting her baby for adoption. The voices of adult adoptees and parents who have lost babies to adoption are silenced by various methods, by saying they are "just bitter" and "ungrateful" - or by outright deleting their posts off various internet forums.
Looking for a baby for adoption? Adoption is a business venture that is currently popular - and growing. "Finding" healthy newborn babies for adoption customers is not as difficult as one might think.
The following websites provide some information on the effects of adoption:
Effects of adoption on mothers ('birthmothers', 'birthmoms', 'birthparents')
Effects of adoption on babies (adopted children, adopted child)
The adoption professionals may claim "We can't help it - moms want to get rid of their babies". If that were true, would they need infant adoption awareness training and all the advertising promoting infant adoption in order to get "donations" of babies for adoption?
Posted at 02:37 pm by warriorwoman
 | | | oma666
September 12, 2009 03:04 PM PDT
I am a grandmother of an adopted grandson, and my husband and I are currently experiencing the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. This is said by a person who lost her younger brother in a car crash, and has another brother disabled through another accident.
Just as you said in your blog, I strongly feel that my daughter was coerced into this situation. She was sold with statements such as: " Adopting your son out shows a greater love than keeping him" and "you have such great maturity to seek his best interest over your own". I believe her loser boyfriend had a lot to do with this, but so did the adoption agency counselor and to some degree the couple that adopted our grandson. Between these three entities a mother cannot compete, especially since teenagers try to break free from parental influences... generally a healthy path in life.
Open adoptions are not really open. All the open adoption planning, meetings, selection process was done without our knowledge because we were not "on board" with this idea. The adoption agency in effect separated our family, and we were specifically told not to mention to our daughter anything about keeping the baby, just so we could visit him in the hospital.
Yes, we did not agree. None of the people who influenced our daughter were parents, yet they seem to know what is" Best" for our grandson. My daughters explanation for doing this was "I'm just not ready to be a mother"...sounds familiar. Please give me one mother who doesn't experience some level of doubt with her first child?
Nobody tried to do the BEST (and morally right) thing for our grandson...which includes not inducing labor earlier than necessary, breastfeeding, and generating a sacred and special mother-child bond that cannot be replicated.
As he grows up, he may ask "was I not worth the sacrifice? why didn't you want me? how could you not love me? what is wrong with me?" questions that were on my mind spending my first 9 years with my grandparents (not strangers). Although my parents did have a solid and rational explanation, it does not always translate emotionally. Besides, being a parent is an incredible journey with much hard work, trials and tribulations but also with so very many joys and rewards. Certainly the adoption counselor did not explain that to my daughter.
Now our grandson is almost a month old. We have seen him only 8hrs in the hospital and briefly during a good-bye lunch (no we were not invited to the actual birth but the adoptive parents were). There are three picture albums posted on a sharing site, which I had to search for to find. Our e-mail asking for visitation has so far remained unanswered. I don't believe we will be allowed to have an active part in his life, but desperately hope that this is not true.
The absolutely saddest thing is, that we were willing to support our daughter 1% or 100% in raising her child. We were even planning to move if need be. She did not have to do this!!! In the future, I expect she will be building a family at some point...and yes, we would have been always willing to return to her the son that is rightfully her family.
Instead, the grief and suffering will never go away...every morning when I wake up, every night when I go to sleep, and I can't even think of holidays and birthdays. I'm not sure how to survive...
Open adoption was not meant to be the solution to infertility. Adoption laws were changed due to the dark periods when sex without marriage made you a social outcast, abortions were illegal, and many mothers had NO choice but to adopt out. Back then, closing and sealing the papers caused tremendous pain to children and parents. Having openness was supposed to change these situations.
Instead, "openess" has become a selling point...yet they pain goes on. Are there other grandparents like me?
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| | | Name
September 8, 2007 10:51 PM PDT
The links on effects are not working. I really would liket to read them. Will you repost them? | |
| | | Jen
November 1, 2005 03:59 PM PST
Stop generalizing!!
You would not want adoptive parents to do the same.
I dare you to post this. You did not post my last comment.
I adopted - did not BUY my girls!!
No money was given to our birthparents who we keep in touch with through letters/pictures, phone calls, visits, etc.
Everyone is healthy and happy with the decisions made. No one force them to place their babies for adoption. They found us with their decisions already made.
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