Adoption Issues

Adoption issues are often discussed from the point of view of the people who have adopted or who intend to adopt. Adoptees and natural family members have a struggle being heard.

Even though the adoption businesses claim that adoption is for the child, the “child” -or even adult adopted person - is often silenced when she dares to speak up about the adoption issues that are important to her.. Not wanting to incur the wrath of her possessive adopter, an adopted person may be intimidated to speak of her natural family. She may simply mention a desire for a health history and let it go at that. Many adopted people have spent their lives making their adopters happy and it is a tough habit to break, tough to attain independence.

Natural family members have an even harder time making their voices heard. Yet the adoption issues they bring up are equally valid ones. After having cared for relatives children, for friends, for the neighbors, for the elderly, for dying parents, and everyone else they encounter it may one day occur to them that when they themselves needed help, there was no one there for them. Considered “mere women” and unworthy of notice, their babies - a valuable commodity - were simply taken from them and adopted-out. In some cases, psychological tricks were used to make the mother think it was her “choice”. Shown no mercy - and sometimes battered by their parents - single mothers in certain communities and cultures have been “guided” toward adoption for decades.

Today, a savvy pregnant woman can find some information on the internet to back up her case for keeping her child. Yet, many women still find this information - and real help - too late. Having heard all their lives “everyone benefits” from adoption, they may believe it’s true. It’s easy to take advantage of someone who is suffering from morning sickness and other effects of pregnancy. The adoption agencies and adoption attorneys lure pregnant mothers in, making promises. Getting a mother to select prospective adopters well in advance is a common trick. It will make it harder for the mom to say “no” to these seemingly kind people later even after she holds her beautiful son or daughter in her arms. When she hesitates about her adoption “choice” they may remind her that they have a whole nursery all set up - and she hasn’t prepared even have a single baby outfit or a car seat to get her child home. Making promises of “open adoption” has proved to be so successful at luring moms in that adoption businesses are expanding and charging more for their “services”.

One very important adoption issue is the issue of the dehumanizing language used for mothers, fathers and other natural family members. The right to the care, custody and control of your own child is an “inalienable” right, a right that should be impossible to surrender. To make people forget this fact, mothers are dehumanized as “birthmothers” (aka “birth objects”) and adopters are called “parents” or “real parents” - even before a baby is found for them.

To make the job of finding babies for adoption easier, adoption professionals have lobbied and gotten federal government grants for Infant Adoption Awareness Training. Some states have “Choose Life” license plates, with the proceeds going to get more babies for adoption but never to help a mother or father who wants temporary help to raise their own child.

Mothers and fathers who are so easily duped deserve to be scammed - andit doesn’t matter how the children are affected. At least, that is the opinion of many people in America. While it is considered unethical - even criminal - to offer a family $15 for a baby in Cambodia, mothers in United States are being offered scholarships, car payments, dining expenses, and much, much more to lure them in. Ads soliciting for babies are everywhere. “Dear Birthmother” letters and adoption business cards are called “outreach” as if finding babies for adoption were some kindly missionary work, rather than solicitation for someone’s son or daughter.

These adoption issues are important ones. And there are many other issues related to these adoption issues: sperm and egg donation, embryo adoption bring up even more issues. Naïve college students are solicited for “donations” and are not told the truth about the fact that they are selling or donating their own offspring. They are lured in by the businesses that profit from these unnatural “reproductive” techniques. Sadly, the donated/adopted person may have even less support and understanding than an ordinary adoptee. And, what can a person who was sold by her father or mother - possibly to obtain beer money - have to feel grateful about?

There are many adoption forums, and you might think adoption issues might be discussed there. But too much honesty will get a person banned from the forum. A seemingly “open forum” is often only a highly censored advertising tool.

More open adoption issues and "unwed" mother myths.

Human Life is Precious as Gold for Sale

“Human Life is precious” - that is the message we often hear: “Human Life is precious”. We all know how delightful it is to hear a small child laugh or to look into the trusting eyes of a newborn. And when we look into the eyes of our own son or daughter our joy is even greater. But beyond the intrinsic value of a human being there is an economic value as well. Will there be enough younger workers to keep the social security going? Will there be people to purchase all the manufactured goods and all the “services” and pharmaceuticals? Will there be enough people - with the right skills - to defend our country?

Human Life is precious . However to many entities human life is precious only because of the income that can be realized from a human life - it is the “price tag” that makes human life precious. This is especially true now that so many people are putting wealth and their own interests first and waiting too long to reproduce. Aging, desperate for a baby - and sometimes quite wealthy - some infertile people will pay any sum in order to get a baby “of their own”. Singles and gays also hope to adopt or otherwise obtain an unrelated child. This is great news for adoption businesses and for those businesses who broker the raw materials needed to create a baby - including human eggs, human sperm and now even frozen human embryos.

Human life may be considered “precious” but any real respect for human life has gone completely down the drain. Human life is no longer intrinsically precious.. “It” is precious based on “it’s” DNA, looks, health and potential. “It’s” ancestors are usually not even mentioned or if ancestors do happen to be mentioned they are referred to in dehumanizing terms as “genetic parent”, “birthmother” or “birth family health history”. In an attempt to get more raw materials to make babies and more babies for adoption, the very real human life from which the “desired life” springs is demoted to the lowest status possible, the status of a breeder of babies for the wealthy.

Many “Christian” people insist upon decimating families that are not of the “family unit” type. They rationalize that forced adoption is better than forced abortion - the only two “choices” they are willing to consider for families with single parents. For males, offering only these two “choices” is ideal - because it means that males need not concern themselves with either pregnancy prevention or with taking responsibility for their own child if they are not married to their child’s mother.

Churches love to promote the phrase “human life is precious” - but unfortunately it seems even for churches, the economic value of human life trumps the intrinsic value of human life. It’s hard to believe that the “experts” are not aware of the harm they cause mothers and their children when they are separated for adoption. For churches, providing “adoption services” is a great “fund-raiser”. “Adoption services” nets them plenty of donations (for this “charitable” work) and of course the church adoption agencies charge fees for “counseling” services designed to get more babies for their real clients, the adopters.

They say "things have changed" - but with adoption things have not changed except to become more devious and competitive.

Rather than churches helping the poor, churches remove the healthy, desirable babies of the “poor” (often naïve Christian college students) and sell the babies as indulgences to those whose marriages are not “blessed by God”. In earlier centuries, when people could not reproduce their marriages were annulled. Infertility is not a measure of “goodness”. Infertility may be the result of STDs, overweight, environmental toxins, bad habits like drinking or smoking, drug use or may result from an infection following an abortion. For males, even holding a laptop on their lap can lead to increased body temperature and infertility. Yet, churches seek to “save” these marriages through the sale of human life.

And because churches have been promoting adoption and selling human life for so long now, how can people comprehend that making even  more “artificial orphans” through adoption or reproductive technologies will cause suffering? It’s not a desirable thing to be an orphan, cut off from family. Do Americans really want to fund “Embryo Adoption Awareness Training” making it so that clinics will be encouraged to make more “spare” embryos in order to offer them for sale? Do United States citizens want “reproductive tourism” to the United States which is known for allowing it’s citizens to be used as incubators and as the source of raw materials to make babies?

Human life used to be considered more precious than gold but now Human Life - is only precious as gold for sale.

Adoption vs. abortion - hot, painful, ouch! what a subject.

What a touchy subject adoption vs. abortion  is - how can anyone contest THAT? Yet, as with any debate, if the premise is flawed the whole argument is worthless.

The premise - that there is a “choice” between adoption and abortion - is very much flawed. Why? Well, let’s compare it to the options of killing yourself or going to a technical school. If you kill yourself, you cannot go to a technical school - you cannot do anything because you are dead. Likewise, if a fetus is killed, the fetus cannot go to technical school, cannot be raised by her own mother or father, cannot do anything because the fetus is dead. But (going back to you ) suppose you do not kill yourself - then you have many options - you have not “chosen” technical school just because you did not commit suicide - you can go to technical school, you can go to South America, you can become a marine biologist, a midwife, a teacher, a philosopher or a combination of things….the opportunities and options are endless. And so it is with abortion - if there is no abortion, the options are limitless. Hello, I said the options are LIMITLESS. “Adoption” is only ONE option.

The flaw in the argument about abortion vs. adoption is obvious. Terribly obvious. There really is never a “choice” between abortion and adoption. Because by the time a baby is born the options are keeping her, shared custody with her father, temporary guardianship by her grandparents, etc, etc. - or (last place) surrendering her for adoption by unrelated people who have purchased “adoption services” designed to get babies away from their own families so other people can adopt.

Pressuring moms to surrender their infant sons and daughters for adoption is common - how else can infertile people and gay people and single people get themselves a healthy baby to adopt? Making moms feel worthless as mothers, making them think they have “saved” their babies from abortions - just because they foolishly handed them over to unrelated people - is a handy psychological tool used to get more babies. More babies for adoption, more money for the adoption agencies and adoption lawyers - and more donations for them as well.

Abortion vs. adoption? If you don’t want an abortion, you probably love your child more than life itself and if that’s true - you deserve more options than just adoption, open adoption - or any kind of adoption.

"Honor Killing" in America

Honor killing is the practice of males killing their female relatives or spouses when the female relative or spouse is considered to have damaged the family honor through unwarranted sexual activity. The males involved in the sexual activity, which might have been a rape, are not adversely affected, in general. The execution is considered to be a private matter within the affected family; rarely do non-family members or the courts become involved. Honor killings are now viewed as murder by most people.

The United Nations Population Fund estimates as many as 5000 females are anually killed worldwide as a result of honor killing.

In United States there is also a punishment of female relatives that is very similar to "honor killing" -  that punishment is removal of a mother's newborn son or daughter for adoption.  One difference is that instead of physically murdering the "moral offender", there is an "attempted murder" of the offender's  motherhood   through psychological and economic coercion.  Adoption may be touted as the punishment for sex without benefit of marriage, however adoption is actually punishment for carrying a pregnancy to term. Woman who have abortions are not punished (unless they consider the abortion the punishment - and some do) and women who have sex but do not become pregnant are usually not punished in a severe way, if at all. 

Limiting pregnant women's "choices" to only adoption or abortion benefits males significantly.  With these "options" of abortion or adoption the males need not concern themselves with either pregnancy prevention or with taking responsibility for their child. 

With honor killing, it is often male relatives that carry out the sentence.  In America, often the pregnant woman's mother is very involved in  carrying out the "sentencing".  "You will NOT return to this house with a baby,"  was the phrase heard by pregnant woman in the 1960s.   This threat may even be made today.  Along with the threat, a pregnant woman may be taken to an "adoption professional" - a person who is trained in the art of getting babies away from their own mothers - and selling the babies to clients  who pay for this "service".  An "adoption professional" may make the mom believe she "chose" adoption when in reality no other options were mentioned. Every avenue of support may be cut off by "professionals" through cleverly worded advice to parents and others.  Indeed, almost our entire society now believes that a baby is "better off" with unrelated people than she is with her own family if her mother is single when she is born.    And this is despite the objections raised by adoptees, the ones who "professionals" claim benefit from this strange transaction.

There is more than one type of "honor" crime... for a mother, having her son or daughter removed for adoption  and then being allowed to live prolongs her suffering.  It may be worse than honor killing because of this prolonged grieving and unacknowledged loss.  Regardless, many moms whose baby has been adopted-out later commit suicide.  

A little temporary help may get a mom past this situation - sometimes a little moral support  is needed, sometimes a little help getting her baby's father motivated to do his part.  We need no more "honor killings" in America.

The Declaration of Independence speaks if equality for all people.  But "liberty" interests must not interfere with another person's liberty. 

In infant adoption the inalienable rights of both natural parents and of adopted persons are being denied. 


First consider what is meant by an "inalienable right".  From Merriam Webster's Dictionary:

Main Entry: in·alien·able
Pronunciation: (")i-'nAl-y&-n&-b&l, -'nA-lE-&-n&-
Function: adjective
Etymology: probably from French inaliénable, from in- + aliénable alienable
: incapable of being alienated, surrendered, or transferred <inalienable rights>

The definition of "inalienable"  is very interesting - It appears that some rights are incapable of being surrendered or transferred.  If there was a right that was endowed by the Creator and was an inalienable right, what might that right be?  The right to breathe? The right of a person to his/her own kidneys and other body parts?   The right to bear and raise his/her own offspring?

Yes, the right to parenthood (right to raise one's own offspring) is an inalienable right, a right that may be denied only when the parent is proven to be abusive or seriously neglectful - thereby infringing on the child's rights. 

In infant adoption, a parent who has not been proven abusive or neglectful is solicited and pressured to "give up" or "surrender" their inalienable parental rights.  Some naive parents may be led to believe they will be "heros" or "saints" for surrendering this "inalienable" right to raise their own child.  There are persons who claim a "right to adopt" and it seems that the "right to adopt" has somehow superceeded the right of a United States citizen to bear and raise their own offspring.