Adoption Issues and Family Matters
how infant adoption tears real families apart

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Adoption Blog

Adoption is complex both psychologically and sociologically. Adoption is practiced in some cultures and not in others - what motivates some cultures to transfer babies from one family to another?

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How do those in power utilize "Positive Adoption Language" to create a "culture of adoption" in order to influence families to surrender their own children and grandchildren? How did so many people become infertile and how are those in the business of adoption and reproductive technologies exploiting their infertility? Are mothers being used as if they were only a source of babies for adoption, a kind of human breeding-machine? How do family members fare, after being separated for adoption? How do families with open adoptions fare? This adoption blog will address these questions and more.


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Favorite Websites:

Adoption vs. Abortion Myths

Adoption vs. Parenting

Adoption Quotes

Adoption Psychology

Adoption Health Risks, consequences

Open Adoption Effects on Natural Family

Open Adoption Risks

Is Open Adoption or Closed Adoption Right for Me?

Adoption Australia

Dear Birthmother - Is Adoption Worth the Grief?

Parenting Resources or Adoption

Keeping My Baby

Mothers Exploited By Adoption

Adoption Origins, Inc. NSW Australia

Adoption Origins South Australia

Adoption Origins Canada

Adoption OriginsUSA

Adoption AdoptionCrossroads.org

Adoption Iowa Adoption Support Groups

Adoption Adoption Truth

Adoption Adopting Back Our Children

Crisis Pregnancy

Unplanned Pregnancy

Adoption Statistics

Birthmothers Day

Dear Birthmother

Dear Birthmother

Open Adoption

Open Adoption

Maternity Homes

Unwed Mothers

Thought Reform

Respectful Adoption Language

Unwed Daughter Pregnant

Adoption Reform

Dear Birthmother

Respectful Adoption Language

Adoption Stories

Birthmother Stories

Unwed Mothers

Dear BirthMother

Domestic Adoption Baby Boom

Adoption -Opposed to "Right to Adopt"

Adoption Language Devalues Natural Family

Adoption Agencies or Baby Broker?

  • Dear Birthmother


  • Angels in Adoption

    Adoption Artwork Fantastic Paintings and Sculpture - Vicki Ayres


    Adoption Artwork Fantastic Paintings - Lina Eve


    Adoptees Stephen Fitzpatrick - Classical Musician, Harpist



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    Adoption Press

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    Jun 23, 2005
    Considering Adoption

    Considering Adoption?



    This is the best information on considering adoption  I've seen:

    What I Wish I Knew When I Was Considering Adoption

    I think carefully considering adoption and it's effects will help those parents-to-be and grandparents-to-be to determine what a lifetime without your child or watching some stranger raise your child - really means. 

    Many parents today are being lured into "open" adoption.  It's important to understand the risks and realities of "open" adoption in advance as well. 

    Open Adoption - Scams used to get babies for customers
    Is Infant adoption really all about getting customers the baby of their dreams?  It seems so.  Infant adoption does nothing for real orphans. 


    Posted at 08:16 am by warriorwoman
    Comments (14)  

    Jun 17, 2005
    Adoptingback Website

    Adoptingback Website

    Want to hear some interesting adoption stories?   Adoptionadopting babiesadopting children , infant adoption - it's not as simple as it sounds.  This website is dedicated to the question of whether adult adoptees should be adopted back by their natural parents - or perhaps have their adoptions annulled.  Some have already been adopted back or changed their name back.  Guess the  maternity homes for  unwed mothers were not enough to make the babies someone they were not.   Adoptingback - angels in adoption?

    Posted at 12:28 pm by warriorwoman
    Comment (1)  

    Jun 16, 2005
    "Donations" of Babies to the Infertile

    "Donations" of Babies to the Infertile

    Adoption is a business venture that is currently popular - and growing.  "Finding" healthy newborn babies for adoption customers is not as difficult as one might think. It just takes a little advertising - much of it paid for by the federal government - and voila! donations of healthy newborn "orphans" appear.  Are these adorable babies really looking forward to having adoptive buyers take them home, thereby "saving" them from their own family?

    According to health experts, babies are better off if kept close to their mothers - and hospitals are trying to ensure this happens. Meanwhile, adoption "professionals" do their best to separate moms and babies. 

    The most sought-after
    babies are those "produced" by healthy, intelligent (if naive) mothers who are not yet through college.  Expectant parents who are single  are viewed as baby-manufacturing equipment by those who wish to obtain babies.  In newspaper articles adoption "professionals" and adopters alike are often quoted saying what a tragedy it is that moms are keeping their babies.

    It becomes even more obvious that the
    babies are a mere commodity when a baby who is not perfectly healthy when born is rejected by the adoptive baby-buyers. After all, who wants to pay good money for a "junky" product?  

    "Compassionate" aid to the infertile is considered so important that a single woman who is
    pregnant is referred to by the demeaning terms "unwed" mother,  "birthmother" "birthparent", "birthmom"  in hopes of getting her baby for adoption.  The voices of adult adoptees and parents who have lost babies to adoption are silenced by various methods, by saying they are "just bitter" and "ungrateful" - or by outright deleting their posts off various internet forums.     

    Looking for a baby for adoptionAdoption is a business venture that is currently popular - and growing.  "Finding" healthy newborn babies for adoption
    customers is not as difficult as one might think.

    The following websites provide some information on the effects of adoption:

    Effects of adoption on mothers ('birthmothers', 'birthmoms', 'birthparents')

    Effects of adoption on babies (adopted children, adopted child)

    The adoption professionals may claim "We can't help it - moms want to get rid of their babies".  If that were true, would they need infant adoption awareness training and all the advertising promoting infant adoption in order to get "donations" of babies for adoption?


    Posted at 02:37 pm by warriorwoman
    Comments (3)  

    Jun 14, 2005
    Considering Giving Up Baby For Adoption?

    Considering Giving Up Baby For Adoption?

    There are a few things you might want to know about infertility, the causes of infertility and the effects of infertility on couples - as well as the long term effects of adoption on mothers and their adopted-out children.   (If the truth be told, adoption affects kept children, future spouses and future generations as well.)

    Many people in United States are experiencing infertility - as the result of factors like environmental toxins, obesity, STDs, use of drugs and medications, drinking, smoking and delaying pregnancy to focus on their own wealth and success. For males, even holding a laptop in the lap leads to an increase in body temperature which may result in infertility.

    See this webpage on "
    Prevention of Infant/Child Abduction" in hospitals.

    As a result of  infertility, hospitals must carefully watch visitors to maternity wards and areas where there are small children.  Hospitals have even profiled the typical infant/child abductor. 

    According to the profile, the "typical" abductor may be overweight, has planned the abduction (although the target is opportunistic),  may have low self-esteem, a history of manipulative behavior, history of miscarriage or infertility, married or co-habitating - often in a troubled relationship, may be attempting to 'save' the relationship, usually targets infant/child of the same race, usually acts alone but may have a partner to create a distraction to lure staff away from the target. 

    Many people who have had experience with adoption will recognize this profile.  Adoptees and reunited natural moms all talk of how the child was used to patch a relationship or as the pretend "real offspring" of the adopter.  There is a big difference between providing for true orphans and the DEMAND that is being made today for babies for adoption.  No one owes their child or grandchild to anyone.

    As many people have discovered to their horror, even "
    ethical" adoption agencies cannot provide any guarantee about the people adopting or the outcome for your child or grandchild. 

    Whatever problems you believe you have, the people adopting will not be perfect either. 

    Some information on
    adoption, the history of adoption and adoption reunion:



    Outcomes of Open Adoption for the natural family.

    Domestic Infant Adoption articles and information.

    What the adopted child - or rather adult adoptee may say about adoption later.

    More adopted children - or rather adult adoptees - tell of their realities.

    Mothers used to provide babies for adoption, both open and closed adoptions.

    Personal adoption stories, "birthmom" stories,  "birthmother" stories, "birthparent" stories*

    How
    Open Adoption is used by agencies, lawyers, doctors and other individuals to lure people into adoption.


    A mother's "personal response" to "
    Birthmothers Day" - honoring women as breeders of babies to be used for adoption.
    Note: the terms "Dear Birthmother" "birthmother", "birthmom", "birthparent", "birthmothers", "birthparents" "birthfather",  are used ONLY for search engine placement.  No mother - or father - is a "birth object" meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption.


    Posted at 09:19 am by warriorwoman
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    Jun 12, 2005
    Angels in Adoption


    Angels in Adoption

    Adoption is imbued with a mystical quality.  Participants (willing or otherwise) are often referred to as "angels" "saints" or other terms which dehumanize them.  The people who adopt are "saviors" of supposedly "unwanted" babies

    The women used as a source of babies for adoption are called "angels" and "saints" prior to surrendering their beloved babies, but they quickly fall from this unnaturally elevated status once the adoption is finalized.

    During the closed adoption era, the moms might not have even gotten to hold their babies before they were whisked away - the punitive nature of adoption was unmistakable.  Today, adoption is still meant to punish - adoption is a terroristic threat held over daughters in white Christian homes. Even when the threat is only an idle threat, a frightened mother may take it so seriously she commits suicide before the pregnancy is obvious. 

    Few mothers will be told how adoption - even open adoption might affect both themselves and their child for life. 

    Adoption is imbued with a mystical quality.  Participants (willing or otherwise) are often referred to as "angels" "saints" or other terms which dehumanize them.  The people who adopt are "saviors" of supposedly "unwanted" babies


    But are there really "angels in adoption"?

    Dear Birthmother, I see no real angels in adoption.   



    Note: No mother is a "Dear Birthmother", "birthmother", "birthmom", "birthparent" (aka "birth object) meant to be used as the source of a baby for adoption.  A mother is the mother of her child.




    Posted at 11:18 pm by warriorwoman
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    Jun 11, 2005
    "Birthmother" Humor

    "Birthmother" Humor

    Regarding "birthmother" humor - I found a website with some humorous articles written by Joss Shawyer  (a mother who narrowly escaped "birth objecthood" in 1969).  Granted- it's a sort of tongue-in-cheek  black humor - but the articles are GREAT - and very revealing!  I've listed a few of the articles below.

    When you read the title "birthmother" humor were you thinking I was about to make fun of "birthmothers"?  I'm NOT - I would never put down a human being who has been used as if she were not a mother but only a machine producing babies for people to buy.

        (Read "Why 'Birthmother' Means Breeder")

    Most people have never thought about "
    unwed mothers" and the sordid history of adoption.  Most "unwed mothers" used as a source of babies for adoption were young women who were white and often they were middle-class.  Moms suffer terribly from having their infant sons and daughters removed from them to be used for adoption.  Some people may have an idea how bad this punishment might be, but they may think that THOSE BITCHES DESERVE to suffer for life for their sins! 


    The truth is that adoption - the punishment for "unwed" births - is way out of proportion to the "crime" of giving birth.

    To see how their babies are taken, read  "Birthmothers" personal adoption stories.

    Read about "open adoption" and how it is used by adoption agencies and prospective adoptive "parents"  to lure moms into surrendering their babies for adoption.


    And now for Joss Shawyers articles: 


    Touched By Adoption  - With a Blowtorch

    Nature Vs. Nurture - The Mystery Gene

    Adoption Reunion - The Rocky Road

    "Choosing" Adoption - Adoption "Choice" is a Feminist Issue

    Adoption Traditions - The Empty Seat at the Table

    What one adoptee has to say about infant adoption:

    Dear Birthmother - What the Baby Brokers Won't Tell You About Adoptees and the Truth

    Birthmothers Day Celebrations - An Adoptees Perspective

    "Birthmother" humor - it may be considered offensive to stigmatize various racial and ethnic minorities, but the "unwed" mother is still fair game.  Probably the ONLY reason there are not more jokes about "birthmothers" is because the adoption industry is still working hard to get healthy babies for 'loving' couples and they don't want anyone to comprehend that there is a human source of the babies that is being taken advantage of in a very cruel way.   








    Posted at 10:02 am by warriorwoman
    Comments (3)  

    Jun 7, 2005
    "Unwanted" Babies for Adoption

    "Unwanted" Babies for Adoption


    In United States there is a large market for babies for adoption and few real orphans to be found that are young and healthy enough to be desirable for adoption.  The lack of healthy orphan babies is no impediment to the adoption industry - when their customers have money, then babies can be "found". 

    The babies are often said to be "unwanted" - a veritable "crisis".  Do moms really think of their infant sons and daughters are like some old junky sofa to be donated?  One "birthmother" website states: “Adoption is not about unwanted babies — it is about unwanted mothers.” 

    There is no doubt that the number of "donations" of
    babies for adoption fluctuates along with other societal factors.  Adoption agencies and adoption attorneys - whose business is getting more babies for adoption - exploit these factors and are the driving force behind the "culture of adoption".  

    Perhaps the most important device used to get more 
    babies for adoption is to deprive moms of acknowledgement of their motherhood, their very humanity. This is easily accomplished through language.  To make a Latino man appear to be "less than" human refer to him as a "spic".  To make an African American woman seem "less than" human refer to her as a "nigger".  To make a single mother or father appear to be "less than" human refer to these very real parents as "unwed mothers" "birthmother", "birthfather" or "birthparent".  Few people would want to take the mother away from a baby, but just call this mother a "birthmother" and she seems to have the role of a placenta - MEANT to be discarded.  

    A person who was
    adopted at birth may say her mom DESERVES to be called a "birthmother birth object" for surrendering her.  Do the people who adopted her also deserve some awful title for creating the "market" for babies?   Some moms say they knew the ONLY way they would be permitted to keep their babies was if they were born with Down's Syndrome or some other health problem - and thus "unwanted" by so-called "loving" couples.  

    Today, people who want to adopt (puchase) a human baby have become very demanding.  They are "goal-oriented" professionals, some of them quite skilled in negotiating.   And - having put career ahead of family - the prospective adopters have plenty of money. 

    It's easy to take advantage of a mother who is suffering from the effects of pregnancy and childbirth.

    Adoption "professionals" are constantly devising more tricks to get babies for adoption by their customers, offering open adoption and other lures.  And prospective adopters join in with tricks of their own. 

    "
    Dear Birthmother" letters are everywhere - cool, calculated attempts to make mothers feel inadequate and make the people adopting appear to be god-like.  If a mother "just didn't want" her baby, would it be necessary to push her to "choose" adoption well in advance of birth and get prospective adopters lined up and calling THEMSELVES the "real parents"?

    When her baby is born, the mother is the REAL PARENT, legally and otherwise.  The people waiting to buy her baby (the purchase disguised as "
    adoption services") are simply prospective baby buyers - NOTHING else.

    Relinquishing a baby for adoption.  Some people call relinquishment a "birthmother's sacrifice" - a mother sacrificing HERSELF for her baby, like Jesus was sacrificed to redeem us from our sins. 

    How many moms know the truth about the consequences of adoption separation on babies and their mothers? 


    A "consent" that is uniformed can hardly be called a "consent".   In truth, society is sacrificing a mother-and-child  to get a baby for adoption.


    Posted at 10:18 am by warriorwoman
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    Jun 6, 2005
    Gadgets and Babies for Adoption

    Gadgets and Babies for Adoption

    What's the difference between a gadget (such as a phone with Blutooth, a camera and high-speed data capabilities) and a baby for adoption

    The gadget of the desired specifications can almost always be purchased immediately -  and easily returned if the customer is not fully satisfied. 

    A human baby might take anywhere from a month to a year to obtain - perhaps longer, depending on the specifications of the
    baby and the budget of the customer.  Regardless, the time seems like an eternity to a consumer who is used to immediate gratification.  Those whose business is adoption are always looking for ways to shorten the "wait" time period and keep their customers happy.

    As the market for
    babies for adoption grows, new sources of babies must be developed and "mined". If some customers can be persuaded that they are "just prejudiced" if they won't accept an African American or Mexican baby - and "angels" if they will - then it is possible to sell a few more babies for adoption.

    To keep competitive and shorten the average waiting period for their customers,
    adoption businesses are also offering "open adoption" to lure more parents into surrendering their healthy babies for adoption.  Using "Dear Birthmother" letters and adoption business cards helps to lure parents into adoption.  Sometimes prospective adopters even make what they consider to be a "down-payment" on a baby. In infant adoption, anything goes. 

    Healthy white infants with good DNA are the most sought-after for
    adoption.  Lucky for customers there is already a culture in America that is prejudiced against single parents.  The abject hatred for single parents was so strong in the 1960s that almost no single mother or father ever got to raise their own child.  Fast-forward to the year 2005 - it is just a matter of bringing back all the hatred towards single parents - "shaming" them.  Then adoption "professionals" can just lie about the known effects of separation on mothers and babies - and voila! - there will be more babies to sell to the prospective adopters. 

    If the baby's own grandparents to do the shaming, then the adoption "counselors" can play "good guy", befriending the pregnant mother they have targeted as the source of a
    baby for adoption.  While other mothers-to-be are respected as their baby's "mother", the adoption "counselors" refer to their targets as "birthmothers" or "birthparents" (aka "birth ojects"). 

    There is a big difference between buying a gadget and  a
    baby for adoption.  But in United States, both baby and gadget are treated in the same way - just another product to be obtained and marketed to customers.


    .    

    Posted at 06:04 pm by warriorwoman
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    Jun 5, 2005
    Embryo Adoption and Pope Benedict XVI

    Embryo Adoption and Pope Benedict XVI

    An open letter to the new Pope, Pope Benedict XVI.


    Dear Pope Benedict:

    I do not have your address and cannot write to you personally.  I wish I could write to you - where adoption and embryo adoption are concerned. 

    If there is an orphan who has no one then it may help her if someone takes her in and raises her with the same love they would give her if she was their own child.

    But in United States people are ignoring real orphans and at the same time they are turning out infant orphans on purpose just to supply the adoption market.  People who are infertile or gay DEMAND babies - and when there are no real orphans to be found they are creating them.  Not only do these adults get THEIR desires fulfilled, but the businesses supplying babies and the raw materials to make them are doing quite well financially, too.   Consequently, there is a great deal of lobbying to get more orphans. 

    But creating orphans on purpose - removing a child's own parents, grandparents and siblings - just so some person who is infertile or gay can have a baby - is morally WRONG.  The Church promotes adoption, saying it is better than abortion.  But how much better is it if a child can stay in her own family?  There is no longer any persecution of "bastards" in the United States today.  The effects of separation on moms and babies are known. Following is a summary of the known consequences of separating mothers and babies:


    A Keynote Address


    Open Adoption the Wall


    People who adopt may divorce.  People who are single are free to adopt.  There is no good reason to tear family members apart just because a mother is single when her baby is born - Mary the mother of Jesus was also single, young and less affluent.  


    PLEASE READ the following:

    Embryo Adoption Study Flawed


    Domestic Adoption Baby Boom - Exploiting Women and Families in America



    Choose Life License Plates are Misleading

    Why Solicitation to Obtain Babies for Adoption Must be Outlawed



    Bush Admin Pushes Grabbing Babies From Poor Women So Wealthy Can Adopt 

    Adoption Ethics - An Oxymoron



    Adoption - Is Heritage A Human Right?

    Adoption vs. Abortion Myths Debunked in Letter to a Student



    Please understand that "culture of life" is a euphamism for "culture of orphans". 



    For more reading material try

    Infant Adoption in America

     


    Posted at 07:34 pm by warriorwoman
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    Jun 3, 2005
    Adoption Baby Shortage?

    Adoption Baby Shortage?

    According to encyclopedia.adoption.com  there is an "adoption baby shortage". 

    Just seeing these words "adoption baby shortage" turns my stomach.  What is adoption - a system of finding homes for orphans or a system of getting babies for people to buy?  Is "adoption" just a system of creating more orphans just so people who are infertile or gay can have a baby?

    Evidently it is so. 

    When babies are taken from their mothers so they can be used for adoption, the babies suffer.  But it is not just the babies that suffer. 

    This idea of creating "orphans" artificially is not new.  Read "Not By Choice" to see how they got more babies for adoption  in the 1960's baby scoop era. 

    Here's a tiny glimpse of how the babies' mothers might be affected: 

    "It was inhumane and unethical to subject anyone - most especially the vulnerable minor - to this such trauma. But to ensure she was silenced and abandoned her whole life was to ensure her dehumanization was permanent." - A Natural Mother


    "Everytime I speak up about our loss as mothers and adoptees, someone starts talking about adopted person's right to medical information, as if that is the only loss that exists in adoption. I feel like I am being cannibalized and used for bone marrow, kidneys, ... At first, I was "only good enough" to be used to provide a baby for infertiles. Now I am "only good enough" to provide medical information. Our humanity as mothers still goes unnoticed....." - A Natural Mother


    When babies are taken from their mothers so they can be used for adoption, it is not just the babies that suffer. 

    To consider the future or existing
    siblings and how they might be affected, read both of the following: 

    Adoption and Safe Families Act Tears Family Apart

    Open Adoption The Wall 


    The baby-brokers all say "things have changed" in adoption, but adoption is still taking advantage of people who are naive or vulnerable.  (If the adopter loses her income or gets a divorce will she then be asked to "do the right thing" and make her baby available for someone else?)

    When
    babies are taken from their mothers so they can be used for adoption, it is not just the babies that suffer.  But the babies DO suffer.  What newborn baby do you know that cries for the unrelated people hoping to adopt her?  A baby needs her mother and the security of her mother.


    "When we are born we only want one thing to be held and loved by our own mothers. We know them, they belong to us and us to them. To take that away is not good for babies it is the worst most abusive act emotionally to inflict."  -- from "What Baby Brokers Won't Tell You About Adoptees and the Truth!"  by Anne Patterson, Adoptee



    According to encyclopedia.adoption.com  there is an "adoption baby shortage". 

    Just seeing these words "adoption baby shortage" turns my stomach.  What is adoption - a system of finding homes for orphans or a system of getting babies for people to buy?  Is "adoption" just a system of creating more orphans just so infertile and gay people can have a baby?


     


    Posted at 07:45 am by warriorwoman
    Comments (2)  

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